Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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27

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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