What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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h

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Obama lin Baden.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops