Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops