Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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