what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Rick Perry.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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I got shot, you laughed

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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