guy walks into a bar, ouch

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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ert

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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