What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops