why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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