Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops