Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

your skull would make a nice pen holder

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...