if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Smeg...

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops