what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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