Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops