A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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