What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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A white man walks into a bar. He stabs 4 people and 1 escapes with extremem blood hemorages. his fanily later finds him bleeding on their family car. They take him to the hospital where he is put on life support. Later that night they are told there is nothing the doctors can do and the man slips away in his sleep. Who is to blame? The black guy in prison.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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