How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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9/11.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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...Jack Vale

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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8=>

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops