A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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