What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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