I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the black person die? Of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops