Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops