If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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