What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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