What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

A guy walks into a bar and falls.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Hey

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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