Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops