What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...