what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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what are three short words? i a am

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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