What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Democracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

thumb_up thumb_down -30

guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do we call Osama? Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops