Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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