What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down

A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Santa Clogged my toliet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops