How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down

A baby seal walks into a club. :|

thumb_up thumb_down

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

thumb_up thumb_down

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

thumb_up thumb_down

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops