What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

9/11

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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