A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

whats hairy and crys your mom

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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