What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops