Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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