Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Why? Why not?

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops