What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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