Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! F*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops