Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Knock knock. Its open.

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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