Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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