A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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