Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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anus

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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