what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -8

read me write me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops