why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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