Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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