I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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