What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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