roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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