Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Penis

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Turkeys are obese

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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