When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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