How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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A dyslexic blind man

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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