Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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im @ work, LOL.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops