What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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A storm be brewin!

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops